


Liminal Spaces and Other Strange Anomalies

by docboredom, gabewrites, lunarblazes



Category: TWRP | Tupper Ware Remix Party (Band)
Genre: Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Ikea shenanigans, This was so much fun, Weird Plot Shit, god dude is that lazerhorse you better believe, please never let twrp near a public store ever again, twrprbb2020, weird mini lore, why yes this is a three person collab can you believe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23844457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/docboredom/pseuds/docboredom, https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabewrites/pseuds/gabewrites, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarblazes/pseuds/lunarblazes
Summary: After Lazerhorse escapes the TWRP basement, Sung has to find a new hobby. His search for entertainment leads him down a YouTube rabbit hole straight to the IKEA website. After convincing Phobos to come along with him, Sung books it to the nearest IKEA until Meouch and Havve come to collect him. The TWRP boys are left to wonder about a few things; a.) when their town had gotten an IKEA, and b.) why this IKEA is filled with a familiar uneasy and awful energy...?
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13
Collections: TWRP Reverse Big Bang 2020





	Liminal Spaces and Other Strange Anomalies

**Author's Note:**

> It was so much fun to sit down with Rose and Arin and plot this whole mess out for Finch's super fun art. We seriously hope you enjoy this and the rest of the TWRP Reverse Big Bang!  
> -Natalie

It wasn’t necessarily anyone's specific  _ fault  _ that Lazerhorse had escaped from the confines of their shitty basement and disappeared mysteriously, but no one really cared to admit how many times they had forgotten to say hi or bring the guy a snack, hell, even remember that he existed. He probably got bored, as was the consensus that they all reached. Enough boredom could get anyone thinking creatively- and it wasn’t exactly a foolproof plan: to lock a grown man in a basement and expect him to crank out album art whenever they so pleased. To be honest, they had all stopped locking the door to the basement at some point, a backburner kind of thought. The guy was going to make art regardless of the conditions, apparently. Maybe he had just hit an art block and disappeared. 

It was a little weird to know that LH was missing after all this time, but they all agreed it wasn’t a big deal. And thus, nobody really followed up on it for a really long time. If you can’t fix the broken boat, slap some flex tape of ignorance on it and call it a day, as they say. Life went on as normal without a random artist to feed in their basement. They did miss the guy sometimes, though. 

Regardless, Sung had already taken up different hobbies to pass his time between tours and music making. He had an exciting but failed attempt at soap carving, a terrible attempt at magic, and some abandoned sketches that needed quite a bit of work to be presentable. He was at least trying. He settled on watching Youtube after a few days of floundering into new interests to get some new ideas. And bingo. Perfect. He was mindlessly listening to a few Game Grumps power hours, almost drifting off with his arms crossed over his chest on the couch. He felt his arm slipping, getting ready to hang off of the couch as drowsy thoughts replaced daydreams, when the mention of building IKEA furniture made his eyes pop open again. “...IKEA.” He murmured, quietly entranced. 

Meouch would have asked him what the fuck he was going on about if he had been perched on the other side of the couch, but thankfully he was sleeping until a crisp 2 PM, give or take. Phobos was the only one nearby, and he seemed to be making something for breakfast in the kitchen. Havve had the wonderful, robotic ability to put himself into sleep mode until he felt like dealing with Sung’s shenanigans. So Sung was, dangerously, left alone to google the nearest IKEA and browse a list of their finest wares. 

This place seemed to be a staple of human society— all the information he’d found on their website pointed towards it being a giant in this world! The items in the catalogue had near alien names, and people talked about getting meatballs? and sharks?! and all other sorts of things from this crazy store. It seemed like exactly his kind of place, and they  _ did  _ need a new shelf to replace the one he’d accidentally broken during a high kick practice session… 

And so the decision was made. He would go to this bizarre store and see what all the fuss was about while also getting them a new shelf! Not even Havve could fault him for that plan. It was just being productive. 

He tore his eyes away from the computer screen that was displaying the IKEA website and shoved his chair out from under his desk. He looked himself up and down, deeming his current clothes acceptable for a venture into the store— hoodie, baggy jeans, sneakers, the usual. Nobody ever really believed they were aliens out in public, so he didn’t really do anything to disguise his features other than grab a baseball cap from the nightstand next to his bed and jam it over his head. He bounded into the kitchen and snatched up the van keys from their table, ready to head out when someone tapped his shoulder.

Sung spun around on his heel, a mildly guilty grin spreading across his face. “Hey, Phobos!” He posed in exactly the same way one does when told to artificially “act natural.” It was awful, completely unconvincing, and couldn’t be excused even by the smell of pancakes that Phobos was getting ready to eat.

_ “What are you doing?”  _ Phobos signed, raising an eyebrow at his excited posture. If Sung was excited, there was either something amazing going on or something absolutely stupid. Phobos had gotten used to, and came to expect, the latter. He hoped he would be able to finish eating his pancakes before Sung tried to drag him towards chaos. 

“Um… I’m going to get us a new shelf!” It was true. A new shelf was on the horizon. He didn’t know how big, or what color, or what shape, or where they would put it, but he knew that he was going to build it. He also knew that he wanted to start a collection of the tiny screwdrivers stashed away in furniture boxes. That could be the use for the shelf if he really wanted it to be. 

Phobos shoved a forkful of pancake into his mouth to avoid responding and give himself a moment to think. He focused on cold maple syrup perfectly contrasting with warm fluffy pancakes until Sung looked like he was about to burst with anticipation.  _ “From where?”  _ Sung pulled out his phone almost immediately and gave Phobos an eyeful of the IKEA website-- specifically a search for ‘cool shelves?’ that Sung had expertly written himself. There were a lot of shelves. Phobos would give him that. 

“I saw this cool furniture store online and I thought going there would be fun!” Sung scrolled through the oodles of shelving and storage units for sale for extra emphasis and thought about running through giant warehouse store isles and impulsive spending money on the brightest, most annoying piece of furniture to build possible. He was already in heaven. 

Phobos sighed to himself and scanned the page for a location. Sung didn’t seem to have a plan for himself, other than finding an IKEA and shoving a giant box in the back of their van.  _ “Do you even know where it is?” _

Sung’s smile fell. His cheeks flushed red as he realized that he had, in fact, forgotten to look up the directions for the nearest IKEA. “Oh.” He fumbled with his phone and tried to find the closest IKEA store in a panic. He hadn’t even noticed Phobos finding the location first and calmly transferring it (and a few directions) onto a piece of paper for Sung. Sung was too entirely caught up in his intense and unbreakable desire to stare at boxed furniture and wood slats. They even had stuffed animals. 

Phobos rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t stop a small grin from slipping out. He reached into his pocket to fish out a cleanly folded sheet of copy paper (when Sung finally regained focus), and handed it over to the man with a mission for erratic spending and home decoration. It had the location of the store written on it in Phobos’ neat script. Purple ink too, nice touch.  _ “There you go.” _

“Are you gonna come too?” Sung had a huge grin on his face as he gripped the paper in his hands, and he was practically vibrating where he stood. Maybe he was a little lame for being excited over raiding an IKEA, but damn if he didn’t want to build a shelf. There were so many possibilities for a new shelf! They could display some books, if it was big enough they could display old instruments, maybe they could frame tour posters! Sung could have sworn that Phobos looked overwhelmed at how fast his brain was moving. 

Phobos hesitated for a second before shrugging.  _ “Sure, why not,”  _ he signed,  _ “got nothing else to do. Just let me eat my breakfast first.”  _ Sung groaned and reluctantly grabbed himself a Foodbar before impatiently leaving to start the van. 

The great thing about being Sung was that he didn’t have to push the seat too far back to get comfortable while he waited. He stretched his feet onto the dashboard, daydreaming of lingonberries and oversized tote bags. He knew, deep down, that it was very simplistic. It really was nothing more than an oversized furniture store. But then came the human part. His favorite part. The name, the theming, the idea of getting your friends and family together and aimlessly wandering. That’s why he was excited. That’s why he wanted to go! Right now, actually. “PHOBOS!” He hollered out the window. “S’GO BUDDY!”

The other alien had taken his sweet, sweet time finishing breakfast up and changing into his “normal” clothes. “I thought Havve said you couldn’t drive anymore.” Phobos signed, words half obscured by his oversized jacket sleeves. 

“And is Havve here right now? No. I didn’t think so.” Sung stuck his tongue out. “Besides! You don’t even like driving.” Phobos was a better navigator anyways, a fact that he was quite proud of. The accusation was the perfect hook-line-and sinker, causing Phobos to huff and fall into the passenger seat. “Don’t be pouty.” Sung said as he turned the ignition on. “This is going to be awesome.”

Phobos turned his head, but Sung could see the smile playing on his face in the reflection. The sight of it invigorated him.

It was the perfect day to get out of the house too. Blue skies, warm air, the promise of summer right around the corner. They had a shuffle going of Lizzo, Chromeo, and Booty of course. “Do you think we should have invited the other guys?” Sung said about halfway through, glancing over as they hit a red light.

“And end up in the middle of a circular conversation that goes on for way too long about what we’re buying and how much money we have and a bunch of other stupid stuff? Pass.” Phobos fiddled with his braid. “Besides, Meouch would have wanted to drive, and we know how that goes. Oh. Green.” He pointed at the freshly turned light. “Go.”

He laughed and hit the gas pedal, and they were there in no time. It was stupid huge. As big as some space malls back at home. He knew what Phobos was thinking. That you could get lost in a place like that. But that’s what made it exciting. “Okay. So. Game plan.” 

“We go through the front door.”

“Hardy-har-har.”

Phobos smiled and covered his mouth, allowing Sung to launch in. “We get inside. We get both of us one of those fancy ass totes.” They should have spent the car ride thinking of anything else they needed, but this would make it more fun. “We go absolutely buckwild.”

“Fantastic plan.” Somehow Phobos managed to make even his signing dry. “Are we sticking together or splitting up?”

Now that was a great question. Sung stroked his mustache. They’d cover more ground if they split up, and there’d be less squabbling on what was and wasn’t needed. He planned to go all out. Heft three bags fully loaded, grocery store style. “I mean, I don’t see the harm in splitting up. We can meet again for lunch on the top floor.” Mmm… swedish meatballs. He was already drooling. Maybe he should have eaten more than just that foodbar. “It’s 11:15 right now, so what, at 12?”

“Forty five minutes huh?” Phobos quirked an eyebrow from behind his sunglasses. “Should I be worried?”

“Only slightly.” Sung grinned before clapping his friend on the back. “IKEA! Whoo-hoo! Let’s get crazy!”

If only he knew.

~

Normally, waking up was a gentle, drowsy kind of experience. He’d take his time stretching every limb out, acclimating himself back to the world, letting his senses crawl back. But that was literally impossible when there were hands on his shoulders, shaking him until he snapped back to himself. “What?” Meouch snarled. He saw red. Havve. The light of his eyes unapologetic and blaring. “C’mon man, turn it down, shit hurts.”

“Where’s Sung?”

What a stupid question. Sung could be anywhere. He was prone to scampering, getting into trouble. Things Hogan  _ knew.  _ “Fuck if I know, man.” Meouch muttered, pressing his cheek against the couch cushion. He was still in that warm and floating space and he didn’t want to be yanked out of it. “Why don’t you call him?”

“I did.” Havve shoved the phone at him. Five unanswered calls. Meouch wondered if he had left voice malls for each of them. “Phobos is gone too, if you care.”

Currently? Not really. “And?” He asked instead, an appropriate middle ground, at least, that’s what he felt. He could have been sleeping still. He buried his face into the pillow he’d dragged out to the couch and felt his mane fluff out against the fabric. A mix between a growl and a frustrated groan was muffled against the pillow. He moved his head so that one eye could still look at Havve. 

Havve spoke as if it should have been obvious, as if Meouch should wake up every day concerned about where Sung was and what he was doing. “I’ve got a bad feeling.” 

Ah yes, the perpetual bad feeling Hogan always had given the link he and Sung had spanning between them. It had been quiet for the most part over the last few months, blessedly, the other man finding time to preoccupy himself with arts and crafts and all other kinds of expensive habits. But now the warning bell had gone off, it seemed. “Fuck, okay.” He pushed up off the couch and rubbed his eyes tiredly. “What’s this bad feeling saying?” Sometimes it was crystal clear and pristine, other times Havve only had a hunch.

“...Do you know what an IKEA is?” Hogan asked and Meouch slapped his paw across his face. 

“Aw fuck.” Of course. Leave it to Sung.

~

Only a few moments after Sung had darted towards a display filled with stuffed animal sharks, Phobos found himself deep in thought. The store was mostly empty, but he heard some commonplace shopping noises escalators chugging and cheesy low volume music coming from above. He still felt strange strolling down an empty aisle in such a big store, his supposed final destination defined by the blatant blue arrows decorating floor, and he had to pause to remember if someone had greeted them. Maybe they didn’t do things like that here. It seemed pretty hands off.

Still, come to think of it, he didn’t remember seeing this IKEA just last week when they’d been driving into the city to go on a Target run. The things you miss when you aren’t looking for them...

Phobos reached out to touch a box that held a… DAGSTORP...? judging by the tag. He tapped the cardboard a few times to make sure it was real and considered pinching himself to make sure some weird IKEA centered dream wasn’t plaguing him. It wasn’t. This place was just strange as shit and felt like it had materialized out of thin air. He was a bit worried that he didn’t hear Sung causing chaos anymore. There were so many aisles, and showcases, and fake kitchens with 3 sinks? Just how far had he already gotten into this store? 

Follow the arrows, Phobos. Just keep going around. He could have sworn he had just been in the bedding section, but behind him all there was was paintings and photographs.  _ Hm.  _ He must have been inside his head for a little longer than he thought. He looked up at the signs designating certain areas of the store for different categories of furniture and other household wares and tried to decide where Sung would be most likely to end up. He had planned to look for a shelf, so Phobos knew he wouldn’t be anywhere near the shelving units. He was always hungry, so he could have let his nose guide him to the food. He nearly walked into a fake plant and shook himself back into focus, deciding to head for the food court. If all else failed he would snag himself some swedish meatballs. 

~

“So IKEA, huh- what a little fucker.” Meouch peaked out of the window and confirmed that Sung had left with the van, cursing under his breath. He hadn’t even gotten to serve himself his perfect post-noon bowl of cereal, and his entire van was missing, and!!! Worst of all  _ Sung  _ had it. He grumbled to himself and rubbed his eyes at how much effort the tiny man was already making him put into this day. It took the utmost willpower for Meouch to slip on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before picking up his phone to call Sung. Havve watched Meouch’s face grow more and more annoyed as the dial tone droned on. 

_ Hi, you’ve reached DOCTOR SUNG I’m busy saving the universe from boredom, but when I’m done spreading FUNK I’ll call you back- leave a message. _

Meouch rolled his eyes and waited for the condescending phone voice to tell him to leave a message at the tone. His eyes clenched shut as if in pain at the harsh beep noise. “Sung, you dumbest of asses, where did you go with the van?” Havve tried to take the phone and perhaps leave a nicer message, but Meouch kept it out of his reach. He turned his back to Havve and leaned about half way across the room with his mouth still close enough to the phone to pick up his message. “If you buy another ugly ass fucking shelf for this apartment I will deck you-” Havve gave up the losing battle but crossed his arms regardless. “Love you, bye.” Meouch’s voice emulated a smiley face emoticon, full of false sincerity. 

As soon as he threw his phone down to his bed he was pulling on a jacket and searching for a pair of socks. While channeling all of his frustration into getting dressed, he calmly turned to Havve and sighed. “Where’s the nearest IKEA? Is it in walking distance?” Havve asked the GPS on his phone and was informed that it wasn’t far, just a few blocks over and up

“Maybe a- about a 30 minute walk, if we pace ourselves.” Havve thought that was reasonable, and they needed to get out of the house anyway. Meouch shoved his phone in his pocket and grabbed a spare house key. 

“Cool so-- a 20 minute power walk, let’s go.” Meouch power-walked out of the door and Havve jogged up next to him to match his pace and kept his mouth shut. Meouch was on a mission, and he wasn’t going to stop until he got the van back where it belonged and got Sung out of the most chaotic store in the world. He was hoping Sung just never found out what an IKEA was, let alone found one he could get to. 

~

Sung was convinced that he had stumbled upon the best store in existence. He had already found a bright yellow shelf for his room, a little fake plant for the bathroom, AND a stuffed lion- or a _Djungelskog_ , as the Swedes would call it- that he was so ready to give to Meouch so that he could keep calling him that as a joke. He was starting to regret not sneaking a cart to throw more bullshit in. This place was an absolute heaven. 

It was probably time to meet up with Phobos but he was so close to being done with this floor. Just another section or two. A place like this had to have candles, right? They could always use more candles, especially with how Phobos burned through ‘em. He took another corner eagerly, tote clutched extra close so as to not jostle anything in it. And that’s when he saw it-

Smaland.

He wasn’t stupid. He had also read about it online. It was a “magical forest” meant to keep children entertained, filled with games and toys and all sorts of other activities to keep the little ones out of your hair while you got around. Something seemed off though the more that he looked at the entrance, and it took Sung a good moment to figure out what was going on. No one was at the entrance. No parents, no children, no employees or adult supervision. “Huh…” The entire store had seemed that way, the more that he thought about it. As if everyone was hushed and hidden away. 

Sung approached the front desk and peeked past it. It looked cool in there. Definitely worth getting a picture of to really cement his first ever IKEA experience. His gaze glanced upwards surreptitiously as he tried to quietly discern if there were any cameras watching him. No? Good. “Sorry Phobos.” He said as he hopped over the fence, landing the middle of a tiny wonderland. Pillars painted like birch trees jutted from floor to ceiling, and the astroturf made his feet bounce easily. 

“Hello?” Sung called into the emptiness, not wanting to get into trouble or piss anyone off. “I’m just a measly patron of this fine store looking to take a selfie. Nothing weird at all.” He sat at the edge of the ballpit and grabbed his phone, eyebrows shooting up when he realized all his missed calls. “Shitshitshitshit.” Oh, he was in trouble now. Havve and Meouch had realized they were gone finally. He didn’t even bother with the voicemails, fingers slipping along his contact list. Meouch’s line rang once, twice-

“I’m going to  _ kill _ you.”

Whoops. “Hey Meouch.”

“Take my fucking van without asking, drive it to this shit ass IKEA in the middle of nowhere.” He was shouting. And they said he made all the scenes... “All so you can get some more god damn shelving that we don’t even need!”

“We needed it!” Sung insisted. He swore he heard something but a quick look around proved nothing was there. “And I’m being responsible. I’m the one that broke it, so I’m replacing it.”

“To reiterate. I’m actually going to kill you.”

Sung opened his mouth to hit Meouch with a witty retort, but that’s when it happened.

The ballpit dragged him down.

~

The phone suddenly beeped twice, cutting off the half gasp Sung had just managed. Meouch stared at the screen in disbelief. “You have to be kidding me.” Had that asshole hung up on him?

Meouch started to redial Sung’s number, growling and cursing under his breath, when Havve stopped him, a cold metal hand laid on his shoulder. His robotic features somehow looked worried. Meouch paused for a moment, scrunching his eyebrows in silent question.

“The link’s gone weird. I don’t think he hung up, Meouch. You can try, but I have a feeling that one— he won’t pick up, and two— we need to get going a lot faster,” Havve said. The message almost made Meouch roll his eyes, but if Havve said it was serious, it almost always was. He hit the call button and let the phone ring.

_ One… _

_ Two…. _

_ Three… _

_ Four… _

Come on...

_ Five. _

_ Hi, you’ve reached DOCTOR SUNG! I’m busy saving the universe from boredom, but when I’m done spreading FUNK I’ll call you back- leave a message. _

Fuck. Meouch frowned deeply and looked over at Havve. It was possible the asshole was just ignoring his calls, and Havve was messing with him, but… the chances were growing slimmer each second. How had this idiot managed to get himself into trouble in an  _ IKEA _ of all places? Taco Bell had proved to be less dangerous, apparently!

He had to admit, he was slightly worried… Sung had a tendency to get into his worst situations when alone. Was Phobos with him? He quickly found Phobos’ contact card and dialed it, hoping against all hope he’d pick up. If he picked up then they’d know where Sung was and they could go and get the van back and thoroughly chew Sung out for stealing it and maybe get a butt ugly shelf while they were there. All that had to happen was for Phobos to pick up.

_ One…  _

_ Two… _

_ Three… _

“You can’t be serious.”

But of course, nothing could ever be that simple for him, could it? The line rang for maybe twenty seconds before the default message that Phobos had began its spiel. Meouch swore, and Havve ran his hand over his faceplate in exasperation.

He shoved the phone into his back pocket, grumbling under his breath about how inconvenient this was, but Havve noticed he picked up his pace for the rest of the walk. His paws were crushed into fists, buried into his jean pockets to avoid sheathing and unsheathing his claws, a tell of his nervousness. Havve was dead faced, hood pulled up over his head, entire frame radiating unease.

They walked in anxiety ridden silence, the only noise coming from passing cars and jogging humans chattering on their phones. It was, like, 11 am on a Sunday, and Meouch would rather be doing anything other than walk to the local fucking IKEA that he’d never even heard about before today, worried for Sung’s stupid idiot safety. Havve could almost feel his attitude thick in the air, his shoulders tense and his jaw clenched. They were both worried, alright.

Havve had felt the link go slack just as the line on the phone went dead, like holding a struggling fishing line before the rod snapped. An unwanted alleviation of tension, though in this case, it was more like he’d been playing with the bait on the hook before a shark dove on board the boat and yanked it out of his hands. 

Just how could a trip to a god damned furniture store be dangerous? It was insanely stupid, but just their luck. Havve wouldn’t take any chances on trusting fate. Weirder things had happened, in weirder places, but… 11 AM on a Sunday? Birds singing, sky clear, air crisp. Perfect day for walking, not rushing to the planet’s most chaotic store to save your friend from… Havve didn’t even know. Evil shelves? Overpriced lounge chairs? Tired retail workers?

This was more Sung’s forte.

They set foot in the parking lot and from the outside it looked like every other IKEA you could find on Google. So what the hell was even in there? He took a confused note that it was completely deserted, and from the look of unease on Meouch’s face, he saw it too. 

Something weird was happening.

~

Phobos was starting to feel uneasy. This place was so  _ quiet _ . Anywhere that Sung was in the vicinity was never quiet, and now that he thought of it… nobody else even seemed to be here. Even his footsteps didn’t make a sound on the smooth concrete floor. It was bizarre, and his urge to simply grab Sung and go home was growing stronger and stronger as he wandered the vast aisles, with or without shelving. He was accustomed to silence, but never anything like this— there should be birds outside, or cars passing through the street, or even the gentle woosh of opening automatic doors. Someone, anyone really, talking, making plans, figuring out things.

Yeah, going to find Sung would probably help. Maybe if he used his phone to play something, Sung would hear it. He pulled the small device from the back pocket of his coat and began playing the last song that was on, holding the volume up button down until it was practically blaring. Maybe some employee would rush at him, tell him that was inappropriate.

Somehow, everything still felt still, but the air was going from a blanket of fog like quiet and stifling inactivity to a slightly more rebellious tone. Something was definitely changing, but Phobos couldn’t detect much more detail than that. The music still going strong, he made his way around, hoping to hear some sign of Sung or really, of anyone. 

He was carefully following the arrows, but none of the rows and rows of furniture really managed to say “SUNG IS OVER HERE” to him. He wouldn’t have really been interested in something like a pressure treated cabinet, or a stained hickory table or whatever the hell Ikean’s called it. Maybe he’d fallen asleep in the bedding area? Phobos hoped that wasn’t the case. Sung was a  _ heavy  _ sleeper, and the music might not wake him until it was right next to him. 

_ Just follow the arrows. Follow the arrows and you’ll make it out.  _

Eventually, once two new songs had begun their melodies, the front windows came into view. Were those the front windows? Everything had started to blend together, and he really couldn’t tell without the workers in the store. Maybe they were all just stocking the aisles, though something told Phobos that wasn’t the case. As _ Independence!  _ from Trail to Oregon came on, he spotted a figure standing near the front desk, behind a small fence. Sung wasn’t exactly hard to distinguish from the humans, so he could immediately tell who it was.

Phobos’ heart jumped, and he stilled in his tracks before kicking into overdrive, sprinting towards the desk and skidding around the turn of the aisle to the entryway. When he got there, the figure was sitting next to the ball pit, cringing away from his phone. Oh good, relief sliced through him. He was talking to Havve or Meouch. Danny or Brian maybe. Even Dylan or the rest of Planet Booty. Hell, he’d even take Rich despite the miles that separated them. Just someone grounded in reality.

He moved to approach and wave his hands around, but in a blink Sung was gone. Vanished into thin air. He ran towards the play area and spun around in confusion, scanning for a possible prank or hiding place, but the sinking feeling in his chest told him otherwise. A second look at the ball pit made it look like it was...moving, though, and before Phobos could react, a hand shot out of it. He scrambled forward to grab it and pull, but before he could, a black mass of void shot out of the pit and slammed into his chest, sending him flying and his phone clattering across the floor. 

He sat up quickly, panting a bit. The wind had been knocked out of him, but he was too busy internally cursing himself to care much. He should have known something was fishy. Of  _ course _ they hadn’t seen the IKEA before— it hadn’t  _ existed _ before. A trap. This had all been a trap, and now he was stuck here with no help, Sung probably sucked into the ball pit and Meouch and Havve up next to fall victim. No way to fight back, no weapons— Phobos tried to claw himself upright, but the mass was advancing on him, and he had absolutely nothing to work with.

Until the man with the broom came flying from nowhere like a bat out of hell.

~

Arthur Doyle was tired.

His life was a joke. Going from being an up and coming art student at the top of his class only to stumble into the middle of some crazy nutso alien fiasco and being deemed “a liability”, to being tossed into said alien’s basement where he had no choice but to churn out album art just so he wouldn’t lose his touch sounded like something straight out of some stupid FOX primetime week night comedy lineup, and yet here he was.

Or there he had been, really.

TWRP had fucked up on two occasions. The first had been throwing him into that basement in the first place, because truth be told, when Arthur had met them he had been amazed. He wouldn’t have told anyone if it meant getting to know more about them, but they had panicked and tossed him in there only to realize that maybe, just maybe, that would inspire some kind of resentment. Which truth be told, it had. Could anyone really blame him?

The second time had been a process, drawn out over many many months. The guys at TWRP weren’t that on top of things. They’d forget to turn off irons, let cakes burn, run in and out the front door all night before a tour started making sure they had everything ready. The accidental unlocking of the basement door when they went and threw him some food and clothes for the week was simultaneously a given and a godsend.

He had given it half a day. Half a day spent sitting on his palms, watching the light leak out from under the doorway, listening to their footsteps passing by. Finally, when nobody was around in the middle of the day, he finally braved the great unknown and escaped.

It had all gone quite fantastically until he ended up into what he liked to call the IKEA of infinite misery.

Really he had just been trying to get back into the swing of being human again. He’d have to find out what had happened to his bank account, his friends, his family. What was he going to tell them? Hey mom, hey dad, I’m totally fine, I was just abducted by weird ass aliens. No, I definitely don’t need to go to a hospital. I’m fine! The IKEA had been the first thing he had seen, and it had looked like paradise from afar.

He knew better now though.

This was another living nightmare.

He brought the broom down over and over again onto the great shadowy thing without a sound. It didn’t have a name, a shape, or any kind of meaning that he knew of. It was just the thing that lurked in the corners of this hell space, nipping at his heels like a demented dog. He raised the broom once more only to realize it had disappeared…

And the person he had saved was none other than Doctor Sung.

The alien blinked up at him and he could only blink back, because this truly was hell if this asshole had shown up. “You have got to be kidding-” Arthur started on a whisper, voice traipsing up and up.

“Holy shit is that Lazerhorse!?” The other man crowed in genuine amazement, voice so loud it carried distantly, echoing through the whole store. Sung’s face full of sunshine and friendly greetings deeply contrasted the tired disappointment on Arthur’s. Pure boredom and monotony pulled at the skin under his eyes and made him look almost disheveled. 

He wanted to correct Sung, tell him ‘that’s  _ not _ my name’. ‘You would have known that if you ever stopped to ask me’. ‘If you had treated me like a human for one god damn second while you held me captive in your shitty basement’. There was so much he wanted to say but Arthur didn’t even know where to start. Sung too was all unwitting smiles, either not comprehending the severity of the situation or flat out refusing to. The former, he felt like, though he couldn’t be too certain. “What are you doing here?” He finally settled on.

“Well I could ask you the same question.” Sung began to push himself up and out of the ballpit, fixing both his hair and glasses in a distracted fashion. “I came here to buy a shelf cos I broke the last one with a high kick.” He said matter of factly, as if that was a normal reason to shop for a new shelf. 

Arthur’s temple throbbed. “Yeah-huh.” Was he even going to question what had just happened, or was it so commonplace that it didn’t even faze him? 

“And that’s when- Oh. Phobos! I didn’t even see you there. Look who I found.” Sung gave a great grand gesture in Arthur’s direction. “Lazerhorse!”

Phobos spared him a singular glance of wide eyed surprise before he began to frantically sign at Sung. Arthur didn’t understand a lick of it but all of Sung’s expressions told him enough. First a sheepish grin, then a crumpling of sorts. “You really think so?” He asked in the middle of a great pause, teeth catching his lower lip worriedly. “I mean the ballpit did just grab me…” Sung mused.

“Is he saying this place is haunted? Welcome to my life.” Arthur spun the broom and clacked the handle against the ground, feeling antsy and out of sorts. “Better get used to it because there’s no getting out now.”

Both of the aliens went still and quiet before Sung let out a sharp and panicked “what!?”

“Yup.” A wan smile crept across his face at their horror. Yeah. Now they knew how he felt. “I have no idea what’s causing it, but this IKEA’s super messed up. Likes to gobble up anyone it can find. Sometimes I see people passing through the store but I can never get to them in time.” It could stretch, bend, reimagine itself at will. Not so much of an MC Escher painting as it was a Salvador Dali, drip-melting into a land of confusion, a hazy, whacked out dream. 

Time didn’t exist here, Arthur had learned. Food always managed to crop up in the food court which was pretty nice. There were at least seventy seven different songs that the speakers shuffled through and Arthur counted it as a small mercy that he hadn’t shown up here during the holiday season. “Ironic, really, that I found you two.” 

Sung puffed his cheeks out in a pout. “Now what’s  _ that _ supposed to mean?”

Phobos had begun to sign again with an irritated sound. Sung followed each motion quietly before pulling out his phone. “But I was literally talking to Meouch five minutes ago.” He insisted with a waggle of the device and Arthur simply shrugged despite not being part of the conversation. There weren’t any threads of logic to follow through the sprawling of sections and hallways of IKEA. You just had to accept it and move on. 

Except Doctor Sung wasn’t wearing a face of willingness and moving on. This was clearly unacceptable! said the jut of his jaw. “Well I know I’m not going to stick around this stupid place any longer than I have to. I got my shelf, now we’re skedaddlin’.” Arthur gave a great bark of a laugh which prompted Sung to swing around. “What’s so funny, huh?”

“You’re not getting out. None of us are.” He had given up his dream of ever having a normal life because this is what it was now. “I’ve tried everything.” Ran at the door with flat carts, thrown vases that were at his feet in shatters one night and gone the next morning, had even taken his trusted broom to the emergency exits in a desperate fury to get the hell out. But no, whatever force bound them there was too powerful. And it could be worse, he tried to tell himself with each “day” that passed. He had beds to sprawl out on, plenty of food and water. 

But this wasn’t living. This was just purgatory reimagined in current day form.

“Well you didn’t have us before!” Sung had the audacity to sling his arm around him. Well, he tried to, but there was at least six inches of height between them, give or take, so he went for Phobos instead. “Seriously, we deal with shit like this all the time. Remember the… the... “ He snapped his fingers. “The space carnival, Phobos? And the infinite mirror room?”

Phobos grimaced and nodded his head slowly, clearly not a fan of the ‘infinite mirror room’ as Sung thus dubbed it. “It’s kind of like that! Less soul search-y though. Well, I hope so. I really don’t want to get existential in an IKEA…” Sung murmured to himself. “But hey, if we need to.”

Phobos ‘X’d his hands over his chest vehemently, clearly not taken by the idea.

Sung was unbothered. All smiles in the face of their impending doom. “Alright. You, me, and Lazerhorse-!”

Arthur gripped his broom handle tighter. “That’s not my name…”

“—Are going to get down to the bottom of this!” Sung cheered. “Go team!”

~

Meouch still had his paws clenched tight in his pockets when they came up on the IKEA’s entrance. They’d spotted the van, and unfortunately neither Phobos nor Sung could be spotted in the general area of the ghosted parking lot. Havve had stayed silent the whole time they walked since his botched call with Sung, which was slightly unnerving, but nothing new. He did tend to do this when he was worried or thinking. Something like awkward silence wasn’t a reason to talk for Havve, it just didn’t bother him.

Meouch stopped for a second outside the store. “Havve, seriously— was this really here before? I straight up don’t remember it being here at all...maybe I just didn’t see it—“

Havve tilted his head, and Meouch guessed that he was conducting a memory scan. After a while, he shook his head. Meouch bit his lip and stepped through the door. It glided open with a small whoosh to his side, letting in a big gust of air.

“HELLO? SUNG, IF YOU’RE IN HERE, YOU’RE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE.” Meouch hollered to the vaulted ceilings, not giving a damn.

“Oh my GOD, DON’T LET THE DOOR CLOSE—“ came the response, but Havve was through the door before they could comply with the instructions Sung’s voice had given. The doors slid shut, and Meouch whirled around.

“Well, fuck.” Sung had come tromping down the escalator, an impressive feat up until the point where he nearly face planted at the bottom of them.

“Hey, so, Sung? What the FUCK were you thinking,” Meouch growled, “when you STOLE THE FUCKING VAN TO RUN OFF TO AN IKEA THAT WASN’T FUCKING HERE A WEEK AGO?”

Sung did his “shit, shit, I fucked up I am so sorry” pose, which involved a great deal of moving around slightly and messing with his hair and touching the back of his neck sheepishly. “Um, so, I know that you’re mad, which is like super fair, but we have slightly bigger problems?”

“Like what?” Havve’s jaw clicked on the end for emphasis, crossing his arms. He was clearly annoyed with Sung too, just in a more subtle way than Meouch’s prickling and growling and swearing.

But before Sung could dive into his explanation Phobos and another vaguely familiar person waved their arms up from the top of the escalator in warning before running away, something strange and insidious rushing after them. “Son of a bitch!” Sung swore loudly. “Okay, um, questions and explanations later. We gotta save Lazerhorse and Phobos.”

“ _ That’s _ who that was!?” He could feel Havve staring at him in judgement but he really didn’t care. Sung was already running, and Meouch had a feeling if they stayed around here any longer they’d meet the same fate as Lazer and Phobos. “How’d that fucker get here?”

“WHAT. DID I SAY. ABOUT. QUESTIONS!” Sung spluttered incredulously as he took a sharp corner, leading them through the bedding section. Phobos was tossing pillows at the thing while Lazerhorse tried to circle it. “Oh jeeze, oh fuck, okay. Uh.” While Sung struggled to think of something, Havve was already on it, drawing his knife out and launching at the force. 

“Jesus.” The human swore as he stumbled back at the last second, watching as Havve reared back and stabbed his knife into the dark. Sometimes it was pretty cool having a ruthless killer on your team, Meouch had to admit, but it still looked like he needed some help. Meouch’s eyes flew around their surroundings, trying to find something in order to assist. Stuffed carrot half flopped over a kid’s bed? Nope. Fake laptop on a business desk? No way. Lamp…?

Now he could work with that.

Meouch tore the lamp out from the nearby display wall and whirled it forward, barely missing Havve. It connected though, and the darkness seemed to hiss before skirting under the nearest bed and away from them. Everyone stood there panting in the aftermath except for Sung, who was wide eyed and shocked, his hand pressed to his forehead. “I’ve never seen anything like that.” He finally breathed out. “And I’ve seen… a lot…”

“That’s because it’s a glitch.”

All eyes found their way to Havve at his quiet wording, but instead of offering a spoken explanation he simply raised his knife instead. The air around it bent oddly, made obvious by the way it seemed to suck all the surrounding light in. “Maybe that isn’t the right wording. What it’s doing is malfunctioning. It’s fucked up.”

Meouch rolled his eyes and ground his teeth. He hated shit like this. “Quit with the dramatics, Hogan, spit it out.” The way he spoke made it seem familiar. As if it was something they all ought to know. Havve closed his eyes and sighed, expression somehow regretful. 

“It’s boredom.” He explained, causing them all to blink and pause. Boredom meant a lot of things to everyone here, most of all Sung. He could see the shorter man’s fists curl at his side as his chest rose and fell and he felt a pang of empathy spill out in his gut. “Have any of you ever heard of a liminal space?” There went the empathy in an instant, replaced with annoyance instead. Leave it to Hogan to try and teach something right after a fight.

“It’s a threshold.” Lazer filled in, causing Havve to nod approvingly before prompting him to continue. The human man gripped his broom with one hand and pushed his hair back from his face with the other. “A space between spaces. Between one point and the next.”

“Exactly.” Havve flipped the knife like it was nothing. “Reality already feels altered in these places. You always have the feeling of something not quite being right. Sounds like the perfect place to breed boredom, right?”

Phobos nodded and Meouch had to also begrudgingly agree. Every day monotony made for a bonafide boredom petri dish if he had ever heard of one. “But look at this place. The very idea behind it.”

“The creativity.” Sung filled in immediately. “The ridiculousness of it all.” He was getting this dawning look upon his features which meant he’d be excited soon and bouncing off the walls. “Of course it’s malfunctioning! It’s at complete odds with it’s core ideal. This isn’t some lame office space! It’s not a school auditorium. It has a personality!” He clapped his hands together. “It has character!”

“So either boredom went and tried to mimic the space itself, or someone thought this was a good idea and implemented boredom into it. Either way they fucked it up. Fucking embarrassing.” It made sense now. The random appearance of the IKEA. Sung’s panicked response to their entrance. The strange endlessness this place seemed to hold, as if they would never get out of here…

“So we have to do what exactly? Catch some whacked out boredom? Put it in a cage?” Meouch drawled, deciding here and now that this was completely Sung’s fault and that he’d never forgive him for it if they were stuck in this IKEA for the rest of eternity.

“First we trick it.” Havve’s eyes glimmered. “Then we trap it and make our getaway.”

~

“So what you’re saying is I’m the bait.” Arthur sighed and somehow managed to look even more tired. He wasn’t sure if his desire to go the fuck to bed was boredom sapping away his will to live or Sung stealing all of his energy the moment he appeared. Meouch just sort of shrugged at him and didn’t feel it necessary to sugar-coat the situation. Phobos crossed his arms in annoyance for a moment before angrily signing to Sung that their plan was only going to work if everyone cooperated. 

Sung nodded throughout Phobos’s explanation, threw in an ‘of course,’ and then turned back to Arthur. “He says yeah, you’re the bait.” Phobos thwacked Sung in the head with the back of his hand and gave him a death glare. “But! You’re the bait for a  _ good _ reason.” Sung smiled and neglected to offer further justification of Arthur’s obvious endangerment, leaving Phobos to seethe momentarily.

“Unbelievable.” Arthur stood up from the chair that he’d pulled over from a nearby furniture section and attempted to walk away before finding himself dizzy. He held onto the chair beside him until the black splotches in his vision faded. He took a deep breath, and for the first time since his initial entrapment, he felt fear. But he also felt no desire to fight against his own tired eyes as the faulty alarm continued to pang in his gut.

Sung looked over to Phobos and back at Arthur, assuming the worst. “The boredom is getting to you.” His voice didn’t hold its usual cheerful timbre, and his expression appeared cold. Arthur had gotten himself back up and running for the most part, but the weight of what Sung called ‘boredom’ sat heavy on his shoulders and started slipping down his back and around his legs like molasses. “We need to catch this thing before it gets to you for real- and whatever you do don’t fall asleep.” Sung tried to hide the urgency in his voice, but Arthur picked up on it. 

Havve started backing up towards his hiding spot, seeing that they needed to get this show on the road ASAP. Sung gave Arthur a playful, hopefully reassuring slap to the cheek and turned to look for his place to hideout. “C’mon guys! We can do this!” Sung figured they had a responsibility to make sure Boredom didn’t kill Arthur since it was their fault he got out and into this situation. And they trapped him in their basement for so long. Consider it repayment. 

“Alright, alright, get into your fuckin’ cone pile.” Meouch rubbed at his eyes before skillfully climbing his way on top of the closet Havve was stationed in and perching there to wait for the action. Havve pulled the door around and only allowed his eyes to peek out, making sure that Sung had fully submerged himself in pylons. Phobos gave a thumbs up from where he held onto the rafters thanks to his god damn spider powers. 

Now all Arthur had to do was walk through the line of attack that TWRP had set up and lure boredom in after him. Easy, right? Nothing could go wrong. He honestly felt like shit, but he kept himself upright and walked slowly through the seemingly endless aisle after he was told they were all ready. He wasn’t sure that he’d done anything until he felt an awful presence behind him and was knocked off his feet by what felt like a strong wind. He scrambled to sit up and stared at the swath of boredom in front of him with wide eyes. Until his eyes threatened to slide shut and he had to dig his fingers into his palm to stay awake. “Hey- guys?!” 

Phobos took a leap of faith at the last second and brought his arms around it as if to bring it into a chokehold. It bucked back but his hold was strong, making it near impossible to buck the alien off. Meouch was next in the flurry of distraction that Phobos had caused, the seemingly endless trail of curtains and bedsheets they had tied together looping around the top and dragging it down. Then came Havve dripping in kitchen knives, pinning and stabbing the sheets to the creature and god- even into the ground. All around them the store lights were flickering and Arthur could only watch in mounting horror as it strained towards him, eager and hungry like a wolf.

But Doctor Sung was there in an instant, cackling like a maniac as he entered the scene, throwing the plastic storage bin down.

All of the IKEA seemed to hit the pause button as if it were trying to sort itself out. Wait. No. This isn’t right. It’s very essence was caught in a maelstrom as the foundation gave a trembling shake of confusion before a jolt of warning. Get out, it seemed to demand. Get out get out get  **OUT** . “You know…” Sung said with his knees pressed to the underside of the container, choosing to ignore the way it thrashed and jumped under him. “Maybe we should have thought this through a little more...”

“You fucking think!?” Meouch snapped. “Fuck it, get the lid on the bin, we’re getting out.”

All Arthur could do was sit there uselessly as TWRP rushed around him in a great flurry. For a singular moment it seemed so certain they’d forget him in the chaos, the last of his usefulness finally drained, destined to be erased from this reality. It was Phobos though that saw him, grabbed his wrist and pulled him up, made sure he was steady. He knew the other couldn’t speak but his eyes spoke volumes, leagues. 

“No man left behind.” Sung winked as Arthur stumbled into the tangle of their group and for the first time in quite a while, forever even, Arthur sensed a feeling of belonging. 

Havve led the way, a verifiable tank in the face of chaos as everything began to fall apart. Arthur saw other people and his relief was instant as the IKEA spat them out. They had done it. They were alive-!

They all hit the pavement as it winked out of existence, leaving nothing but a parking lot behind, and a good number of dazed and confused people. “Well then.” Havve brushed all his spiky metal parts off, looking cool and collected compared to everyone else’s messy, panting selves. “That was something.”

“It was epic!” Sung crowed, still somehow carrying the box after everything. It vibrated angrily in his grip and he simply hugged it tighter. “We helped people, got a new specimen to study in our fight against boredom, and best of all! We found Lazerhorse!”

Phobos tapped his shoulder and signed a few letters. “Oh, I’m sorry, we found  _ Arthur. _ ” Sung corrected himself with a sheepish little laugh, surprising all of them except for Phobos. The long haired alien offered Arthur a winning smile, and Arthur felt himself return it right back, surprisingly. Things were getting good. Better...

He could happily accept that.

“You know the funny thing though Sung?” Meouch had a bastardous smile as he began to prowl. Sung made a face, scrunching his face and brow up, almost dropping the box due to the effort and making both Phobos and Havve jump. “You forgot the most important thing back there~”

“Oh no...” Havve muttered as Sung’s face became one of pure agony.

“MY SHELVING UNIT!” The tiny man wailed to the sky and Arthur couldn’t help but throw his head back to the endless blue abovehead and laugh hysterically.


End file.
